#blessed

If I hear one more person thank God for their frappuccino or see one more person hash tag the word "blessed," I might throw up. American Christians have used their idea of blessings/being blessed to justify materialism. A new car or a too-big house are not "blessings." A means to get to work in bad weather (gasp, that includes public transit) and a shelter to shield you from the elements - those are blessings. An overpriced specialty drink every morning is not a blessing (even if someone surprised you with it -- their action or attitude is a blessing to you, not the item itself). Sharing conversation with a friend over a cup of coffee - that's a blessing. My entire life I've been led to believe that getting a new purse or the pair of jeans I've been wanting makes me blessed. I've actually thought that being privileged made me blessed. Because I am privileged. No, I may not have a brand new car, a big house, or a fat savings account, but I have never been without anything I've needed (or most things I've wanted, for that matter).

If my husband didn't have a much better head on his shoulders than I do on mine, I would spend every extra penny we have on the most frivolous, useless items I could find on Amazon/Etsy/etc that I think we "need." I would fall victim to the trap of materialism much more than I already do. I buy new clothes to workout in and expensive shoes to walk my dogs, when there are people in my own town yearning to have any nice clothes at all. I complain that I don't like what we're having for dinner because I think I deserve to eat what I want for every meal, when there are people all around me hoping to simply feel full. I think that new clothes and delicious meals make me blessed. I think that what I have that others don't, instead of what I do for others, makes me blessed. I grew up thinking that all Americans are privileged, so there's no guilt in wealth - that if one day I was "rich" it would mean I was very blessed. I grew up thinking that other people were helping those less fortunate, that I could go about my business loving all of my things. I grew up thinking that everything in my life that I saw as "good" was a testament to how blessed I was.

Has anyone ever stopped to consider that calling yourself "blessed" because you bought a new car is offensive to people struggling to feed their children? Better yet, that it's offensive to call yourself "poor" when you want for nothing. Nothing. Every time I think about how incredibly fortunate I am to have a job, a home, copious amounts of stuff, the opportunity to get an education, and a loving husband with whom to share it all, I feel so guilty my stomach hurts. The guilt of being privileged is overwhelming. The guilt of knowing that I can't possibly help every person who needs it is overwhelming. The guilt of complaining about things I have that other's don't is overwhelming. Feeling guilty about being privileged is so damn overwhelming.

All I ask is this -- next time you want to get on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter to tell the world just how blessed you are, go do something for someone who isn't so "blessed."